


you're (not) mine and i'm (not) yours

by Torchicpox



Category: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor
Genre: Angst, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Implied/Referenced Incest, M/M, Naoya's Route, POV Second Person, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:27:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24127396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Torchicpox/pseuds/Torchicpox
Summary: Abel wakes up a king on a throne he didn't claim.
Relationships: Abel/Cain, Abel/Naoya Minegishi, Naoya/Protagonist (Devil Survivor)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	you're (not) mine and i'm (not) yours

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my first fandoms and still a dear fandom of mine after so long. Really happy to finally write for it.

You dream of your brother sitting atop you with rage clouding his eyes, face twisted into a horrible snarl, plunging a blade into your heart.

He carved you out like you would do to your lambs. You gasped out his name like a dying prayer, hoping to convey that you don't begrudge him.

His eyes were red under the harsh glare of the sun. He whispered _Love_ when he leaned down to kiss your forehead one last time.

-

The next time you open your eyes he is not your brother. But he is still him, in the essence that he is still Cain.

"Brother," you breath out. Sees the split second of recognition before he quickly schools his expression back to placidness.

He calls you 'My King'. His eyes are closed off and he won't answer when you call him Cain.

_You still love him. Painfully so._

-

People look at you with fear, a certain sort of knowing that you recognize as regret and pity. You don't know why.

Sometimes, you open your eyes to sceneries you never remember closing your eyes to.

It confuses you, for a time.

Before you finally realize there is someone else in your body. Asleep, dormant most of the time. _Such a young soul when compared to yours._

You recognize him as a piece of you. A piece which has grown into its own being. While you-

_What were you even doing all these years?_

-

The people around you are not your kin. They are comrades the child has accumulated in his journey. The only thing that you are even remotely familiar with is your own brother. But he won't even look at you so much as respond to your token of affection properly.

This leaves you burning. Furious and sorrowful. Have you not given everything to him? Your love, your life, your very own essence?

And to what do you return to? An unfamiliar world and a frigid brother who won't even acknowledge you. This thought leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

-

The time that you wake up to unfamiliar sceneries are lessening. More and more, you sleep and wake to the same ceilings.

This, you know, means that the child is dying.

_It is only fitting, because you had been the rightful owner of this soul, and the child only a facsimile created to fill the void of your sleep._

Still, you look at Cain, your brother - _He still looks away from your gaze, even now_ -, and you see what you wish you didn't have to see. Regret, and bone-deep sadness that is borne out of living out so many lives and finding out, even at the end, that it serves no purpose.

You'd take the fury, the jealousy, anything, over this sad husk of your brother.

"Cain." You call out. "Brother." When he doesn't deign to answer.

At least if his own name could not elicit a response , the reminder of what you are to each other always do.

"My King," he defers to you.

"Come to me." You plead, because you've missed him for so long, and you love him then ( _as he carved you open_ ), you love him now ( _as he denies you for who you are_ ), you'll love him still ( _to the days your bones grind to dust and even your souls are no more_ ).

He receives that as an order, and his gait is stiff as he drags himself to your throne, and lets you place your hand on his face. "Of course."

"Look at me." _Please_.

He looks at you, red eyes looking for someone else and shuttering down as he finds none of what he searched for.

_When you are here, right in front of him._

He breaks your heart, leaving you hollow.

-

You made a decision. You'll carry this out. If this means you'll get your brother, a piece of your Cain back.

This time, as he stood to the corner of your throne, impassive and imposing as the General of your Hell Legion, you call him with a name foreign to your soul.

"Naoya," you call him, and let him believe Abel has once again gone to sleep, and that the child he loved is once again back.

He pauses, looks at you slowly. You let him see what he wants to see. Someone who's no longer there, but easy enough for you to emulate.

_The child was part of you, anyway._

"Kazuya," he breathes, hope suffusing his voice, eyes for the first time looking at you.

It'd be harder, if Cain does not desperately want this to be true that he would believe your lie.

You love him so much (too much) to correct his mistake. You close your eyes, and pretend.

The kiss, when it happens, tastes like ash and blood in your mouth.


End file.
